“When you get caught in the impact zone, you need to get right back up, because you never know what’s over the next wave…and if you have faithC anything is possible, anything at all.”—Bethany Hamilton
This month, I’ve been caught in the impact zone.
The impact zone, in surfing terms, is where the waves break. Surfers want to avoid being caught in this area when paddling out, as the waves are the most powerful and difficult to paddle through.
The past month and a half, I’ve wanted to watch the film “Soul Surfer.” It’s about the story of Bethany Hamilton. She lost her arm to a shark attack as a teen just after having been signed with a sponsor. She was very skilled in her sport and had the potential of going pro. After the attack, it seemed to all her friends and family that her dream of going pro was lost. Right now, that’s kind of how I feel. And how I’ve felt all month.
I’ve hit a point in the World Race with everything. I don’t know a lot of things. I don’t know how I actually feel, and don’t know how to vocalize how I feel, because I don’t know how I feel to begin with. I don’t feel useful. I’ve felt extremely purposeless the entire month. We’ve had a lot of downtime. For most on the Race, that’s the dream. In actuality, it loses its shine after about a week. I came on the Race to serve people, to help people, to build relationships—and this month, I’ve been pretty remote. Pretty worthless. Pretty alone. I’m in the impact zone. I’m getting crushed by these waves, and if I’m being honest, I’m not out of it yet. While the Race has been an incredible experience…right now, it’s just hard.
Some of you might be thinking, “You’ve been traveling for nine months, you only have two left. Also, you’re a five minute walk from the beach. Maybe you should just get over it.” Well, my friend, I’ve tried. And generally, I push all my feelings to the side and don’t actually deal with them, so it’s actually a huge thing that I’m bringing this to the surface. For now, I’m just sitting on my surf board, trying to get out of the impact zone. Right now, I’m trying to learn to duck-five through the impact zone to actually be able to surf.
The final scenes of the movie are at the national surfing competition, where Bethany Hamilton chose to continue proving that she would not let this accident hold her back from the sport she loved. She wouldn’t take no for an answer. A few weeks or days before the competition, her dad does some work to her board by adding a rope handle near the top so she could hold on while duck-diving under the waves of the impact zone. She still becomes a professional surfer. With one arm. She had to practice and train and work really hard to learn a new way to surf. She had to be disciplined in training to make her dream happen when a lot of people believed her dream was lost.
I do not intend to finish my eleven month journey in the impact zone. I refuse. But right now, J and I are there. He’s there with me, a constant friend through the tears and all the frustration and feelings I’m feeling. God’s making some adjustments to my surfboard to get me through it. I’ll come out, and I’ll surf the best waves, and I’ll win the title in the long run. But right now—I’m in the impact zone, with J by my side on his board, and he’s encouraging and coaching me through it.
This story doesn’t end here. But this is where I leave for you now.
XOXO,
Vicks.
About the photo on this post: This photo was taken by my friend Alex Jimeson, who I met during our debrief in Escazu, Costa Rica. Alex has spent his recent few months in Nicaragua using his killer photography skills for a surfing group. He was kind enough to let me use his photo for this post. I made some of my own edits to it, I hope you don’t mind, Alex. If you’d like to follow him, his Instagram handle is @ohjboy if you want to give him a follow!!
