V U L N E R A B I L I T Y :
Being open and honest about where you are. Allowing people to see what is really going on, letting the walls down. Its not always easy, but it is always worth it.
I am a person who always encourages others around me. Always builds people up. I do my very best to always be kind, and caring. To be aware of where people are mentally, emotionally. Because something made them the way they are. If they’re in a hard place, they’re not being nice because X, Y, Z happened. They’re hurting because they’re hurt.
One of my favorite books is “If You Feel Too Much” by Jamie Tworkowski. Throughout the book, Jamie talks about loving people well, about getting help when you need (not IF, but WHEN) help, and about the importance of community. However, in one part, he gets vulnerable with his audience and says, “If i have learned anything in the last couple of years, i have learned that it’s a lot easier to talk about loving people than it actually is to love people. It is easier to talk about community than it is to live in community. Honestly, i mostly suck at both.”
Sometimes I find this very true in my own life. I talk a lot about community. I really suck at living in community. People just don’t realize it.
I’ve gotten really good at loving people well in their messes, but not allowing people into my own. I’ve gotten really good at hiding and being stubbornly independent on trying to deal with my own stuff. I’ve gotten really good at putting on a show. The greatest. And it hasn’t been working.
At training camp, I let part of my story out in a group setting for the first time. This part of my story happened 8 years ago. It was buried for 7. It wasn’t until around this time last year that I even told anyone. It was hard, and honestly, it took me a few hours after to really be okay with having sharing it. I had to lay in my hammock and process that this wasn’t a secret any more. That these 6 people knew this part of my story. And loved me anyway.
O-Squad: I can’t promise to love you perfect. But I can promise I will love you the best I can. Post-training camp, I can also promise you that I will try my hardest to always be vulnerable and honest with where I am. The biggest ask I have of you is to pry when I tell you I’m fine and you know that I’m not. While in the moment, I’ll get ten kinds of frustrated, I need your help in making sure the greatest show doesn’t get a replay.
XOXO,
Vicks
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Prayer Requests:
-Fundraising & Finances: I am currently about $4K away from our next deadline, due 09/21. I am also in need of an additional $6K to pay student loans while I’m gone on the Race. I will need to purchase a plane ticket to go to Launch on October 5.
-Squad & Team Unity: I got to spend ten incredible days with the people I’ll be traveling with at training camp (post coming soon, promise). Guys. THESE. PEOPLE. LOVE. SO. HARD. I’m blessed and honored to get to do life with them for the next year. We also found out our teams, and I’m so excited for the five girls I get to do ministry with! Team XOXO is fully loaded with incredible women, and I’m pumped to get to serve with them!
-Personal growth in relationship with the Lord. I’m getting to know myself and the Lord is some really beautiful and intentional ways. A lot of this started at training camp. I’m excited to continue diving into the Word and getting to know God even more.
