I’m throwing in the towel.
I’m done.
This is it.
…freaking out yet? Yeah, me, too.
The past few weeks have been hard. I’m at a loss of what to do. So I’m doing the only thing I can do. I’ve prayed, and I truly think this is what God wants.
Take a deep breath.
I’m taking a step of faith and doing what He’s asking me to do.
OH, COME ON. You didn’t really think I was giving up, did you?! If you know me, and you’re reading this, you know I’m pretty stubborn (thank you Irish/Scottish/German roots ??).
But…I am quitting…a few things.
I’m DONE DOUBTING that the money will come. I’m DONE DOUBTING that I’m called to go on the Race. I’m DONE DOUBTING who I am.
BECAUSE I KNOW THAT YES IS THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE THINGS.
To be honest, I’ve probably looked at my fundraising over 50 times today, constantly refreshing the page, waiting for more funds to come in. It’s so ridiculous! I know I’m called to go do this. I know that God is good. And I know that God will provide, yet I continue to doubt, continue to refresh the page, waiting for that bar to move. So…here’s the deal:
I’M NOT LOOKING AT FUNDRAISING FOR THREE WEEKS.
This does not mean I won’t be trying. This does not mean that I will not be posting on social media about the coffee I’m selling ( click here for the link ), or Adopt A Box on social media. I’ll still be actively fundraising. I simply won’t be looking at where I am on funding.
If you see a blog post in the next few weeks, thank my squadmate, Lauren, who has graciously accepted to post my blogs for me while I’m away. I’ll still be writing, still communicating with you all. I just need to share this, because it’s really been on my heart, and it’s been killing my joy in the process of fundraising and preparing for the journey ahead!
Prayer requests:
-Continued growth and unity for the O-Squad as we continue to fundraise and prepare for training camp (August 8-18).
-MLCC (Mission Lake Christian Camp) speaking. I’ll be traveling to MLCC (see the blog post, My Summer Home for details on this utopia) to speak as the missionary about the World Race and my calling leading up to the Race.
-REST. It’s a very busy season with travels, work, and prep for the Race.
-Identity. I’ve been wrestling with this one a lot lately, just all in all listening to a lot of lies and letting them feed into me. So it’s time to cut ties with those lies and step into who I’m truly meant to be, called to be.
-Fundraising. Though I am not checking in on funding for the next three weeks, I do have a deadline of $5,000 on July 20, and it’s crossed my mind not to check it until then. But for now it’s three weeks away. Be praying for God to provide.
-Blessings on Bluestem Bistro. Bluestem recently (last night) hosted a fundraiser for me last night, and it was a beautiful evening, and I’m so thankful to have gotten to have them host a fundraiser for me because it was my first hangout in Manhattan. My whole chapter in Manhattan very much started at the Bistro. I’ll miss it very much while I’m gone, but greatly look forward to sending the staff postcards and coffee while away on the Race. The Bistro has been a huge blessing to me these past 8 years in Manhattan, and I just wish them blessings and growth, joy and excitement as they open their second location this fall. From the depths of my heart, thank you for the part you all have played in my Manhattan chapter. The time I worked there as a barista and baker were huge in growth in many ways, and it was a sweet time, short as it was. You are all amazing, and Bistro will always be home to me, even while I’m across the world.
Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.-Isaiah 43:19
Love you all,
XXX Vicks
