TRAINING CAMP [FINALLY, I KNOW]

 

THIS IS THE POST YOU’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.

T R A I N I N G  C A M P

GUYS, IT WAS WILD.

Going into training camp, I was unsure of a lot of things. Day 1, even flying to Atlanta the Monday before the storytellers workshop, I kept thinking…

Do I even belong here?

Can I trust my squad, am I really safe with them?

Am I ready?

I’d listened to a lot of lies from Satan since I even applied for the World Race–now, nearly a year ago, on October 26 (DANG, IT’S BEEN ALMOST A  YEAR). I knew I was called to go by New Year’s. But this thing in my head just wouldn’t go away.

“You did this. You walked away from God 7 years ago. You chose this over your faith. This was your fault.”

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I got to meet my squad. A T  L A S T. Some of these people I’ve been texting, calling, facetiming since NOVEMBER. To finally get to hug them, see their faces for real, in person…J O Y. I got to hug each and every member of my squad, all 36 of them, and we couldn’t stop smiling. Getting to meet them was just the beginning.

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Within the first few days, one of our squadmates got sick–heat exhaustion. We all got to pray for him as a squad and it was so early, but I felt such unity in those precious moments we prayed for our brother and squadmate. We were all there for the same purpose, same reason, believing God could heal him. It was the first of several sacred moments for me at training camp.

It took a few days for him to be on the up, but I know that time he was resting was needed for his soul and body to recover.

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Day 3, we listened to a talk on identity. Later, another on forgiveness. I’d encourage you all to read my squadmate Ryan’s experience on the forgiveness talk here. My experience was similar, but different. I didn’t hear “full confession.” But I did hear that I needed to forgive myself. A few nights later, we split into small groups to hang out for a bit and get to know each other better. In my group, we did 3 minute testimonies. The season of life I walked through 8 years ago came up. I’d never confessed it in a group setting. It was real and raw and I knew it needed to happen.

Abby, Shiloh, Jacob, Ashley J, Syd: If you’re reading this, thank you for being kind, loving, caring people and safe places. You all love so well and I’m thankful that I felt safe enough to share in our short time together. I love you all and am riled up about what the next year will be like with you all.

Ryan & Alex: You weren’t in that group I shared with, but both created the safe spaces for me to be raw and real and honest. Thank you both for speaking Truth and pointing me back to where my true identity is found. You’re both incredible men after God’s heart. Thankful for each of you.

After we headed back to the campsite, I had to be alone. I spent some time in my hammock with the Lord and had to process that this season was no longer a secret. It was out in the open. Exposed.

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 Then came squad covenant day. We got together as a squad. Amy (squad mentor), as well as Alex and Marissa (alumni squad leaders) handed us the covenants we would sign as a squad. These papers meant we were dedicating the next year of our lives chasing Jesus, living in deep community, and loving one another hard. These papers meant always speaking Truth to one another. Choosing to love one another because He first loved us. Choosing to fight for one another. This covenant meant these would be my people and my safe place. That I got to encourage them, pray for them, with them, over them. This covenant also meant allowing them to do all of these things for me. And that was where I felt stuck. We were to sign the squad covenant, hand the paper to Amy, say, “YES,” to her, then Alex and Marissa, then each squadmate. I knew these 36 people were ready. But was I?

I knew I was called to go on the Race When I was praying about the Race, I kept feeling like it was October, 2018 launch. Some kind of weight hung on this specific route for me when I watched the webcast on October 26, 2017. As request after request after request was met, from the application fee to my big pack to my tent to so many other specific requests…I knew I was supposed to go. This route. This squad.

I signed the paper. Still the question ringing. I handed my paper to Amy and said, “Yes.” Talk about a bear hug. Then I got to Alex. As I got my second bear hug, he said to me, “You’re ready.” I knew in that moment, this was my path, these were my people. That God himself in all His creativity wove all of our stories separately, just to bring us all to this time in these places to be together. HOW WILD. HOW INTENTIONAL. HOW BEAUTIFUL.

After getting that kind of exact confirmation, I bear hugged all 36 squadmates and said yes to every one in full confidence. This is the squad. The route. The time. I walk in full confidence that this is where I am supposed to be.

There are more training camp posts to come, but this one had to come before the others. I got to say “YES” to 36 squadmates, 2 squad leaders, and 1 squadmentor. I got to say “YES” to chasing Jesus and serving the nations with these incredible people. I got to say “YES” to it all, and it will be the most beautiful and wild journey.

So, those questions:

Do I even belong here? YES.

Can I trust my squad, am I really safe with them? YES.

Am I ready? YES.

XOXO,

Vicks