Have you ever found yourself wondering why you’re here? Felt like you didn’t belong?
You feel that because we aren’t citizens here. We are citizens of Heaven.
Over the past week, while having surgery (read previous posts, here and here), God sent me to some scripture. He sent me to Hebrews 11 and 12.
There have been moments when I felt really lost here in the Philippines. I wasn’t really longing to be home. Don’t get me wrong, I miss my community and church in Manhattan. I miss my dog. I miss visiting my parents’ house. And their dogs. I miss my regular spots to hang out. I miss Bluestem Bistro.
While I tossed all of this around when I continually asked all of the ‘why’ questions the past month, last week, when I read Hebrews 11, a few things came up.
1) All of the great stories of the Bible include faith, patience, and waiting. Sometimes waiting for years and years.
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
-Hebrews 11:1
This passage goes on to list how Able, Enoch, Abraham, and so many others didn’t know the big picture of what they were called to, but walked by faith and obedience step by step into what God had promised them.
I don’t have to see the big picture end goal. I don’t have to know the end of the journey. I just have to take the next step, in faith and obedience.
2) I am not a citizen here in the Philippines, but I at home here. Later in Hebrews 11 (verses 14-16) it says this:
“For people who speak thus make it clear that they are seeking a homeland. If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared for them a city.”
-Hebrews 11:14-16
We have instilled in us a longing for Heaven. Jesus came to bring Heaven down, and we all carry that in our hearts. Therefore, wherever Jesus is, Heaven is. Because Jesus is living in us, I am already home here. We’re all strangers away from home, longing for Heaven. I have seen Heaven meet Earth so much in my month here in the Philippines.
In the kids’ eyes in the villages.
In my teammates serving people.
In my squadmates’ blogs who are in other places.
In the sunrises and the ocean every morning in front of our host house.
In the smiles of the prisoners at the women’s City Prison (blog post to come soon).
I have seen Heaven meet Earth so much here. I haven’t felt away from home because I’ve learned that home is where Jesus is, and that has been the greatest comfort I could possibly have here while being away from the community I’ve lived in for 8 years, and the town I grew up in. I haven’t really been homesick. I miss a lot of people, but know I’m here for a purpose. To hear people’s stories, to love them where they are. To be the hands and feet of Jesus. I’m here to love on my teammates and squadmates, to encourage them and pray with them and for them. I am here simply to love.
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Praise the Lord for th lessons of love, service and transformations, which is so sweet inJesus! Praying for the remainder of ministry in Philippines!
Amen! This is so encouraging, in multiple ways! The truth of it, and that you are being encouraged by it. Love you sister-in-Christ!
Thank you for sharing. Appreciate your vulnerability and transparency through this process ~ Praying for you all through the “leaving” of Taclabon relationships and these next steps to what He has in store for you in Thailand. Remember He’s gone before you—He’s already there—so no worries, He’s got you
Embracing where you are at is right where God wants you. It allows him to use you in ways that you never thought possible. Keep on it….