U N C A G E D

When I left the Philippines, I was ready to leave. Not in any negative way, but my time there was just at an end. I’d learned what I felt I needed to learn, and though I miss the people and places, it isn’t home, it isn’t (I don’t think) where the Lord is calling me to go.

We boarded the plane in Tacloban on November 2nd to fly to Manila to be reunited with the rest of our squad. I had no idea all that would happen over the next two days at debrief, but seeing everyone was a huge gift.

Upon arriving, we saw a few different teams who had been in different locations. We got to catch up and hear stories about all the Lord had been doing. COMMUNITY IS SUCH A GIFT. I think so times we so often forget that. It is a gift to love and be loved by a group of people, to all be pushing one anther toward Christ, such a beautiful gift.

I went to bed Friday night exhausted, but with a full heart. The next day the final two teams would arrive and we would all be together again. I’m not sure I slept much that night. I was too excited to hear all the stories about all the things.

Every time someone asked me how my month was, my response was, “Hard, but good.” I didn’t know what else to say unless they had more time to talk. One of my squadmates, Ryan, was sitting with me Saturday night and it all came out. All the emotional processing all that I’d walked through in the Philippines. I cried for the poverty. I cried for things going on back home. I cried for my friend’s husband passing away. I cried for all of it. It felt like hours.

We talked about what I walked through. We talked about the pain. We talked about big hearts and soft hearts and tears.

The next day we talked more. I asked some questions and we talked about identity and processing.

“I want to be the roaring lion now. I don’t know all the things I have to go through to get that identity.”

“I think you’re already the roaring lion. That identity has been spoken over you from the Lord. Just put it on.” (this isn’t quoted exact, but pretty dang close.)

Could it really be that easy? Could it really be as easy as putting it on and taking it up?

Something that God has really laid on my heart since training camp was leaving behind my identity that I’ve been walking in the past few years. I wasn’t a bad person, but I was walking in an identity I didn’t belong in. Identity crisis. I believed a lot of lies about myself for years. Leaving the Philippines, I felt like Aslan on the stone table. Bound and broken, mane shaved off, beaten down. God was calling me to get baptized again and shed my old identity in the water. He was calling the stone table to be broken and for me to be made new.

At 11 PM on November 4th, in a pool in the city of Manila in the Philippines, Ryan baptized me and the roaring lion got uncaged. And I will never go back.

The freedom I feel now, that I have in Christ, I will never let go of. I will choose to walk in this for the rest of my life because the identity I walked from isn’t who I’m called to be. The things I believed weren’t what God says of me–they were lies. Why would someone walk in lies when the truth is so much better?

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.” –Ephesians 1:3-10, ESV

HE CHOSE YOU. YOU ARE HOLY AND BLAMELESS THROUGH CHRIST. YOU ARE BLESSED. YOU ARE LAVISHED IN GRACE.

Why believe anything else when all these things are true?

So that night, in a pool in Manila, some big things were prayed over me after I got dunked. Those prayers are now my prayers each morning when I get up. That I would fiercely, aggressively, violently, pursue the roaring lion identity and put it on more every day. This is what I’m called to, and I won’t settle for anything less.

I don’t have time to.

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UPDATES:

We are now in ALL SQUAD MONTH in Chiang Mai, Thailand!! My team is doing ATL (ask the Lord) and bar ministry! We already have incredible relationships with people here, so be looking for updates on those soon!

I’m only $1.2K away from my next deadline in TWO WEEKS. If everyone who reads this post donates $12, I’d hit my deadline!

I’m in the process of creating a highlight video from last month in the Philippines, so be on the lookout for another update!

Side note: Here’s a few blogs from squadmates you should check out because they’re full of good things and should be read. 🙂

On Earth As It Is In Heaven-Ryan O’Keefe

Experiencing Freedom-Sydney Nunley

Patience Of A Good Father-Ashley Collins

The Boys-Steph Peltier

Until next time!

XOXO,

Vicks // Roaring Lion